Nothing Makes Sense
by Fourtris-divergent
Summary: Wanderer is confused about why Ian loves her, thinking it's just the body he loves and doesn't know what the truth is anymore.


**This is my very first o'wanda fic, so It might now be the best thing ever written, but I've been working on it for awhile and really wanted to finish it :)**

I wake up to find myself laying on Ian's chest, he's still sleeping.

I inhale his scent, he smells like cactus soap and sweat. I crinkle my nose. It's not the best smell, but it's Ian. I watch him as he sleeps, he looks younger, when he's asleep. Not aware of what's going on. Just at peace, dreaming, probably dreaming of what his life used to be like, before the souls invaded the earth and took their home.

I lay with my head still on his chest, with my small hand resting on the bare part of his stomach, where his shirt rose up as he was asleep, I rub small light circles there with my finger barely touching his skin. He must of felt it because he begins to stir a little, I don't have look up to see if he is awake because I know he is, I just wait for him to say something like 'Good Morning', but he doesn't. Hmm, I think to myself. I give in, and look up and instantly see those beautiful sapphire eyes staring at me, watching me. Memorizing everything I do. He smiles at me, from my little gesture I had just done. I blush. Not one of those unnoticeable blushes oy face turned bright red, and I buried my face into his side, to hide my very bright face. He chuckles at me and starts stroking my long blond hair, it makes me blush even more at his small gesture. That is the one thing that I hate about this body, every little thing he does makes me feel all bubbly inside and I blush at everything he does- from a kiss, a hug, or even just holding hands while we walk down the halls to the kitchen. He said he finds it adorable. I think he enjoys it more than he lets on though.

Still stroking my hair he starts to say something breaking the long silence between us,

"Wanderer, please look at me?" He pleads.

I try to ignore him, and scoot a little away from his body, but his strong arms wrap around my waist, so I can't move to bury myself into this old hard mattress to see if I could just disappear. Away from my embarrassing blushing.

He sighs, "Wanderer, please?" He's begging now.

Worrying over nothing, how does he put up with me? I must be a pain. Stuck inside this child's body with raging hormones and my emotions flying everywhere, it's not always easy. I'm practically a child to him, he's at least 8 maybe 9 years older than this body I now inhabit. I know he says he loves 'me' the soul inside, but humans have trouble separating the body from soul, I know Ian says he knows the difference but sometimes I wonder if it's the body he loves. The way he looks at me sometimes with love-lust filled eyes, it can't possibly be toward me the soul (he can't even see me), just towards the small delicate body I am i-…

I pull my head up from his side looking at him tears filling my eyes threatening to escape, because it had just dawned on me that he doesn't love me the 'soul' he loves this 'body'! What was I thinking? (stupid I'm so stupid,) Souls and Humans can't love each other. It's 'impossible'.

"I knew it!" I exclaimed, not even caring if I let the tears flow down my cheeks.

"Why are you crying? What is wrong, Wanda, honey? Please tell me?" He murmurs softly, reaching to wipe the tears from cheeks. I jerk back, not wanting him to touch me.

Hurt fills his eyes. He thinks, I thought, he was going to hit me, like when I was in Mels body..

"You don't love me," I whisper softly not even sure if he heard me.

Confusion crosses his face, I guess he did hear me.

"Are you crazy Wanda? I love you more than 'anything', why would you even think such a thing let alone say it?"

Tears still streaming down my face I break out of his embrace and scoot to the edge of the bed away from him, wrapping my arms around my legs rocking back and forth. He said he loves me more than anything, how do I know he's not lying? Humans lie a lot. How do I know I'm not just some part of a big joke. And he finds me disgusting I'm just a part of their game and they just wanted me to feel welcomed so they could extract me out of Melanie's body so Jared and Jamie could have her back, and then turn around to stab me right in the back later on, and I mean literally. I shiver at that thought..Why? I can't stop thinking about these horrible things. I feel like I'm having a panic-attack, like when I first arrived here.

I look up and look him dead in the eye, "I said you don't love me, I know you don't, you only love this body. There's nothing special about me, I'm a nasty little soul inside the back of this body. This body well she's beautiful, I understand why..." I trailed off, and started sobbing again, I stand up quickly barely able to see through my tear filled eyes about to make a run for the door to find somewhere to hide. When I'm tackled and pinned onto the mattress by a someone a lot larger than me -Ian.

"Ian get off of me!" I whine. "No, I won't. You're not stable to go wandering out into those caves my little Wanderer," He chuckles at his little saying and smiles down at me. "You're going to stay right here with 'Me', where you belong. Because I love you, the beautiful 'soul' Wanderer, not the body, you are the only thing important to me left in this world, and I'd be lost without you. If something were to ever happen to you, I don't think anyone could stop me from losing it, Wanda. I need you. You are my everything," he's still looking at me "And I'll say it again, again, and again if I have to. I Love You, my beautiful Wanderer."

I don't even know what to say to him, I don't even know why I thought he didn't love me, when he did and I knew it, but refused to believe it.

All I can do is cry and that's all I do, and he pulls me up onto his lap mumbles sweet nothings in my ear, kisses my tears away, like he always has.

"Ian, I love you too," I barely get it out through my crying.

He kisses me and it feels like fire burning on my lips, his touch send heat through my body. This is my Ian, I am his and he is mine, and it's always been this way even if I thought anything other.

**I hope you liked it :) Reviews would be lovely to see how I did. thanks (:**


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